tangled

thinkivykink:

Something personal, I suppose.

A bunch of you have expressed some concern about the Southern Gentleman and I, which is very sweet of you. First of all, I want to assure you that on a personal level we are totally fine. Go on my facebook page and there’s a bunch of silly crap flying around my wall (I think we call it a timeline now? I can’t keep up) between the two of us. Just last night my phone lights up before I go to sleep and I find a text from him saying, “I think I’m the Donaghy to your Lemon.” (Ugh, it’s true.)

The issues aren’t stuff that would completely rip everything to shreds. But I do feel like we need to step back and take a deep breath. Some of the circumstances are a little difficult. Not explosive fights difficult. Not even some sort of subtle something that starts to really hurt. But sticky stuff that you don’t really notice too much but then starts to bother you just a little bit. Stuff that just gets overcomplicated by being too physical.

So, thank you for your concern, but I can assure you things are fine. 

theclotheshorse:

kathryn of kitsune-kun

There are so many varying definitions of ‘fine’, however…

For myself, since this picture is resonating with me (and to some extent, the words chosen to accompany it), I can say that, for any strife or pain involved in a long-distance relationship, distance, unfortunately, is the one thing which can hurt deeper than the suppositions, the accusations, or the outright hurtful things said.

Will my dominant love and I survive? Absolutely. Will we begin to thrive once more? I have no doubt of it. But at present, there is jangling, there is disruption, and the distance—in this case, that he’s far, far too busy at present, simply because he’s very good at his job—caused by his absence is causing more pain than anything I might imagine he’d say.

Which he would not have said, anyway. So tons of suppositions on my side, most of them wrong, and a lot of tender, o’erstressed places to smooth out in the psyche, and far, far too much waiting for him to get a breath in edgewise and relax a bit during his day.

It’s not my definition of fine. But I’ll grant that it fits some of my definitions of ‘okay’.

[[Late insert from the Editrix]]
So…I received a reply from Ivy on this one, on not making assumptions about the state of her relationship. And I didn’t think I had, so after answering her, I thought about it, and then decided to pull this entry up and edit it for clarity.

Maybe I’m still too close to everything. I’m not seeing where I’m talking about her relationship, and not mine, save for the first line: There are so many varying definitions of ‘fine’, however…

To me, there are. To me ‘fine’ is a social construct designed primarily to turn questions away from the speaker. “How are you?” “Fine” is the expected answer. If, every time we were asked how we were, we gave a complete and open rundown of what’s going on, our conversations would be much, much longer.

Not only that, but this Tumblr pretty much started off as the more visual, pornier version of the Train-Wreck Love Life blog, which—when it started—was largely about relationships, love, pain, loss—and trains. It had a heavy train theme, and—had I found this image on my own—I might well have orchestrated a philosophical reply/reaction of my own to that, because it so perfectly fits the theme of the blog (at least, before the past few months, when I’ve largely converted it to discussion of emergent technology, fandom, gadgets and virtual worlds/video games).

So, after likely far too long considering it, I’m thinking I’m not going to edit what I said, at this point, but—because I am the obsessive sort—I’m putting this on as the back end. And apologizing again to Ivy, because what I meant to comment on was how her words and this image made me feel, not about what state her relationship is in. I don’t know her, I don’t know her love, and I have no place and no reason to comment on either her or him.